Peeked at my birthday_

It took me 9 months to realize the day of my next birthday.

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Remember the time when we were younger, and we always look up the next day of our birthday. We looked up if it’s a Tuesday or a Sunday, and we expect it will hit a class where our blockmates/classmates will greet us or even sing us a Happy Birthday. I always did it, but not this year.

As I flipped the calendar to June, I realized that I don’t know the date for my next birthday. I usually do, but it became meaningless, maybe for the reason that I am getting older and it’s becoming irrelevant, and birthdays are getting cliche.

We make a lot of expectations that will never happen, or just a fraction of it will happen. In the end, we will only frustrate ourselves by not achieving our fantasies. A year is just an Earth’s full revolution around the sun.

We always treat it as a special day, cause it is a mindset in our society that those things must be celebrated. I used to love celebrating birthdays, but now it’s just simply will be another year.

reasons_

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a downpour, a cloudy sunset

1. I guess having an eye for details, developed an overthinking mind, or somehow it correlates the other. I always micro-analyze the things that passes in my head, might be how the other passenger’s posture in a jeepney tells something about their personality, or even Luzon looks like the head of Goofy in a map. That accumulates an overflow of good (and even bad) ideas and thoughts, and making this blog will be a healthy output.

2. This could be the start of something new. Yes, I have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even a Youtube account (all links can be seen here). But, something limits me when I’m posting my thoughts on those sites; plans, insecurities, 140 characters, publicity, family and even friends.

3. As a Personal Diary. Since it is 2017, I think it would be more appropriate for me to type all the things than to write them. I wouldn’t want to waste more paper, after keeping all the scratch papers I have from college. I believe that everyday we think of thoughts that is irrelevant on what we pursue, but there is a substance to it, and I wish to keep those thoughts, record them.

4. Increase my vocabulary. Well, practice makes you better. I believe in that, the more hours you spend on crafting an art, the more mistakes you make, the more experiences you get, the more skilled you become. Many people believe on the 10,000 hour rule, but I think that is only an approximate, we have different learning curves, we have different understanding on how the world works. You cannot depend that on a rational statistic.

5. I’m still broken from assumptions and expectations, and I didn’t mean financially. I need a way to divert my focus and attention to new things, to a more creative and productive things, and this is one way out of it, in my perspective.